Showing posts with label roxy's pile. Show all posts
Showing posts with label roxy's pile. Show all posts

Thursday, August 26, 2010

back to schoolings

back to school, back to school, to prove to dad I'm not a fool.

Also, I realize this blog has lost some substance over the past few months. I apologize. But not really. Because summer 2010 sucked the life outta me. For reals.

P.S. I am blogging this from school where these two returned missionaries will NOT stop talking about how they picked up their wives in Russia, NOT because they were Russian, but simply because that is whom they happened to fall in love with. Get real. But maybe get real somewhere else. Nobody cares.

Anyways. My friend Fish blogged about something I've been giving a lot of thought to, and it seems everyone else has as well. You may have heard about the proposed and approved mosque and community center near the 9/11 site. Unless you're like me and call Us Weekly the news.

This plan was approved by a city panel, just two blocks from ground zero. As you can imagine, controversy has ensued ever since. Sarah Palin was so upset about the whole thing she even asked for peaceful Muslims to "refudiate" the plan, and called it a stab to the American heart, all via Twitter. Lots of problems with this statement, beginning with the fact that refudiate isn't actually a word to begin with. Anyways.


I understand both sides, but I really think the issue has gotten a little out of hand. So how should something like this even be settled? Precedent? A coin toss? My friend Fish had the idea to "put a New York Yankee on the very top of the freedom tower (that doesn't yet exist.) Now, it needs to be an American citizen. No Mexicans. Probably not even a Puerto Rican. And not just some naturalized player. A real live multi generational citizen. Now, let that Yankee drop hit a baseball as far as he can, from the tip top of the non existent freedom tower(s), and where that ball lands, is the closest that any Mosque may be built". In my opinion this is the best idea yet.


I also remember another religious controversy involving Catholic nuns praying for Auschwitz victims in a chapel near the historical site. Even though they were nuns, just about the least threatening entities on the planet, Pope John Paul II asked them to leave as it still indicated an expropriation of the memory of the Jews killed there. The place was just too sensitive for families still in the area, and they stopped praying there when they realized it was causing them pain. I'd like to think that if the RLDS church ever was involved in some sort of American tragedy they would not build a pray center right next to the site. It's just insensitive. I think that overall the Muslims don't mean any harm, and that it's time, for us as Americans, to MOVE ON.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

america hates fathers


it's true. Americans hate fathers. You always hear about how awful these estranged fathers are, but as often as you hear about these scenarios, some father out there is waving goodbye to his two-year-old as his cracked out ex-wife has the toddler tucked underneath one arm, only to probably use the child as a weapon later to get something she wants.

"Do you want to see your kid this weekend? I need a babysitter."


Sidenote: Calvin's dad was awesome.

It's significantly more accepted among Americans for a child not to have their father in their life, and hundreds of blockbusters have used the same scenario as a story of trial and triumph.

Disney may be the worst perpetrator of this behavior--almost every single movie is a family with some sort of broken and dysfunctional home. Mainly, because dad left it in shambles.

Cinderella left her to the evil stepmother, Bambi's dad probably had a whole other forest family, Andy from Toy Story doesn't talk about his Dad (neither does crazy next door "Sid"), Dumbo, the Aristocats, the Rescuers. None of them have dads. Not to mention the "ultimate single moms": Erin Brockovich, the mom in E.T., Dorothy in Jerry Maguire, Terms of Endearment, Little Women and a slew of others.

And if a Disney character isn't an orphan in the beginning of the movie, they will be by the end.

Nemo. Bambi. The Lion King. The Fox and the Hound. Tarzan lost both father figures after gorilla father was shot. Jungle Book. Aladdin. Snow White, Arthur from Sword in the Stone, Taran from the Black Cauldron, and Peter Pan is really just a litter of orphan boys.

Dads are awarded sole custody of their children less than 10% of the time, and Americans portray them as the villains.


But the point of this post, is that father's day is coming up.

Some of you may be thinking, Father's Day? What the is that? The media makes a huge hype out of Valentine's and Mother's Day, and most of the time, Father's day is never even announced. You see mother's day commercials exploiting diamonds, cars, flowers, and shopping, but I have yet to see a commercial for "Old Spice" on sale, or even a three-pack of Hanes V-Neck tees.

Sure, dads are hard to shop for. But that doesn't mean we should pretend this Sunday doesn't exist. Has anyone else noticed how much emphasis is NOT being put on fathers these days?

Father's day is this Sunday, June 20th. The least I can do is remind you, right?

And in case you needed it, ten more reasons why Americans hate dads. This is a list that came out last week of the top 10 most popular (and awful) father's day gifts of the past 10 years. are you kidding me?

TOP TEN WORST FATHER'S DAY GIFTS

1. A necktie
particularly ones containing any sort of cartoon characters.

2. Nose hair clippers.
this is the sort of thing that should really be brought up ever. if you love your dad, leave his personal hygiene out of the gift giving.

3. any sort of infomercial exercise equipment.
or exercise equipment in general. this item also makes the top ten worst mother's day gifts. gifting exercise equipment clearly implies that you think their body is needing some attention. and that you noticed.

4. chia pet
convincing your dad to grow grass hair on an animal or character shaped pottery piece, in places he no longer can grow hair is not a good idea. unless your dad is already an avid collector of character pottery that grows grass in a window sill, just leave this one on the drugstore shelf.

5. the singing fish
maybe it's the fish. maybe it's the song the fish sings. maybe it's because it's motion activated. we'll never know.

6. cologne
never give your dad any incentive to splash something on instead of taking a shower.

7. opera tickets
some dads may actually enjoy an evening out at the opera. most dads wont. giving your dad tickets to something just so he'll have to take you is just messed up.

8. colored golf balls
just because you got them on discount, don't count on him putting these in his golf bag.

9. Self-help books
"Dad, I just really wish I'd turned out differently. And it's probably your fault."

10. Barbecue Apron
are you trying to humiliate him? Give him his tongs and his worcestshire. He'll be fine.

(List thanks to ezinearticles.com)