salt lake city slickers

so with a new job starting in salt lake, I have been looking non-stop for housing up in that area. I just had no idea what an event that would become. first I realized this, I wasn't in provo anymore.

thursday morning I drove up to meet Sandra, owner of a home off of 800 east near the U.


Sandra had to have been in her mid 40's. at least. a part-time snowboard instructor and full-time interior designer, Sandra was nice enough. but so old. and so wrinkly. and even had to get a new kidney last week, bless her heart. she was falling apart, as was the house. charming enough on the outside, but the house was built in 1908. you can put cute, eclectic pieces all you want but it does not a new house make. I didn't really feel like it would be a good fit. thanks anyways. and come to think of it, she kind of reminded me of Yzma.


next, I went to go see a cute and quaint one bedroom, one bathroom near s. temple. I'm not going all emo and I'm not about to get a cat, I just like to have my space. and it looks cute, right? definitely thought it had potential.



I met Andy at these cute remodeled apartments downtown, and was immediately afraid for my life. nestled right in between an organic cafe and a very large construction site with very large machines, was my potential new home. as we were walking into the building the very large crane started working and the whole building began to vibrate. p.s. I have edited the following for our younger readers.

Andy: what the f is that? are you f'ing kidding me? the whole f'ing building is shaking! this is tripping me out, for sure.
Rox: ......
Andy: are you sure you wanna live here?! I'm not even sure I would move in. is this an f'ing joke? but this place is wicked awesome, like the tenants are so cool. you know the head chef of this restaurant lives here...I even have people say that they come home like at 3am and there's a guy drinking a beer in his underwear. but they weren't complaining, they were just like, this is awesome.
Rox: ......

at this point I was really less than thrilled, not to mention the apartment smelled like a smoked out port a potty.

last hope: a townhome in daybreak with a 34 year old girl named shiloh. and her diaper-weraing lhasa apso named jake. I don't really have anything else to say.