Saturday, May 29, 2010

benita marie and all of her fiastos

"So many fiastos. Not a fiasco- it's more like a party disaster." - Benita Bates

in the past four years, I have been lucky enough to meet 5 of my soul mates.
We are kindred spirits, we just are.

Actually, I probably shouldn't count because I have more than that.

Camilla Dye (now Wells), Megan Smith, Benita Bates, Bethany McCullough, and of course Shauna Lewis.

Since I moved to San Diego, I've had an awful lot of time to reflect on our past experiences together-- trips we've taken, jokes we've made, dance moves that for sure would get us kicked out of the stake dance.

(I also just realized I've been using a lot of these "--", not too many of ! or . Weird.)

They all deserve their own post. And maybe they will come. Maybe on their birthdays.

But then I found some forgotten about pictures, and the opportunity is just too good to pass up.

Benita is one of my favorite people for a number of reasons:

She loves country music more than I do. We can watch movies we've seen before and she acts like she doesn't know the ending. We enjoy sneaking treats into our bellies so that Megan doesn't know. We justify shopping on good days, bad days, and regular days. She is a college graduate. She is the only person I know that can get burnt in the shade, and she listens to me when I tell her it's time to reapply the sunscreen. She sings really loud in the car and doesn't know any of the words, but is quite good at ad-libbing. When dancing: when all else fails just start backing it up. Sometimes she talks with an accent, not on purpose. She is always down to eat chips and salsa with me. Anytime, anyplace. But mostly on Sunday afternoons.

And she is really one of the most thoughtful and genuine people I know.

Now to the good stuff.
Megan and I always say that Benita is nothing but a one hundred percent guaranteed good time, all the time. No one makes us laugh as hard. Intentionally, and accidentally.

One time when cutting the tomatoes, she cut off two of the rounded edges (not the top and bottom. and mind you, tomatoes are round) and pushed them to the edge of the cutting board. Megan watched as she did this a few more times, pushing perfectly good tomato away from her.

Megan: What are you doing?
Benita: Cutting off the ends.
Megan: There are no ends. It is a circle.
Benita: Yes there are. They are right there. (pointing to the "discarded" pieces.)

Or our favorite Wal-Mart joke:

Benita came home with a bag of grapes she had purchased for some minimal price she was very excited about, and told Megan and I that she believed they were on sale because they were "on their way out", and we'd better hurry and get some.

"Where do you think most pirates are from?" "Somalia."

"Do you think Gary Coleman had home teachers?"

She can't watch movies in 3D because the glasses make her ears "tired".
We should probably build those muscles back up little bear- incorporate some strength training in our workout routines.

But the best (and worst) part of Benita is when she is sick.
Last year, she had to be taken to the ER for eating a bag of Fun-Yuns.
She's not allowed to eat those anymore, but sometimes she still does and tries to hide the evidence.

This year, we were at the Gateway when it all started.

We were standing in line at Anthropologie, and had been shopping for a few hours.

Benita's right arm sticks straight out towards me, and says "I can't feel my arm."

Me: What are you doing with your arm?
Benita: I can't feel it.
Me: Well why are you sticking it out like that?
Benita: I just can't feel it, it's numb.
Me: Are you okay? (I finally felt it appropriate to ask this question. I am not a monster.)
Benita: I don't know. It's going numb. And I'm kind of blacking out.
(At this point I am of course very concerned, but in the back of my head I am thinking about the ER trip for the funyuns)
Me: Okay, well let's go grab something to eat and we'll go okay?
Benita: mmmhmmm. bumymouthsoinnumb.
(but my mouth is going numb)
Me: why are you talking like that?
Benita: Ianeelmyips.
(I can't feel my lips.)

By this time, we are rapidly losing Benita. First her arm, then her eyesight, and now her ability to speak. I am watching her deteriorate before my very eyes.

Me: Do you want to go grab something at Rumbi's? I think you may just need to eat.
Benita: Iantsee.
(I can't see.)
Me: Okay, well let's go over to Rumbi's and maybe you'll feel better after you eat something?
Benita: Oay. Iinkisamigraine.
(Okay I think it's a migraine.)
(Megan, where are you when I need you?)

We began walking to Rumbi's, shopping bags and Benita in hand, and she turns to me and says:

Benita: "I'malkingliahanica"
(I'm talking like a handicap.)

Me: You look like a handicap.

She makes jokes, even when she thinks she's on her death bed.

We walk into Rumbi's, begin to order, and Benita throws herself on the chair directly behind us while mumbling "Iinimoinaowup."
(I think I'm going to throw up.)

Rumbi's man: Is she okay?
Me: She's okay. I think she just needs to eat something.

After ordering, we walk over to the table to wait for our food, and Benita buries her head into her arms on top of the table.

Things are not looking good.

Me: Benita are you okay?
Benita: No.
Me: Do you want diet coke?
Benita: mmmhmmm.


I walked back up to the counter, and explained that my friend was not feeling well, and asked for a piece of pita bread for her to eat while we're waiting for our food.

I brought it back to Benita, who sat up and started to nibble at it.

90 seconds later:
Benita: "I really like this. I didn't think it would work, but I feel better already."
Me: It's miracle pita.

She was able to stop talking like a handicap, but continued to have episodes of numbness throughout dinner.

We made it back to the car, where she promptly feel asleep, mouth open in the front seat, which I was nice enough to document.

I came home and reenacted the entire thing for Megan. I'm pretty sure we laughed for the next hour, just because we love this girl so much and Megan understood pretty clearly the picture I was painting her in the play by play.

On Gchat the next day:

Benita to Megan: I'm about 90% sure I had a stroke last night.

Oh I love this girl.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

wedding festivus

every time somebody gets married, two single people die.

at least, that's the way I normally feel. not too many of those feelings at my cousin Brooke's
wedding this past weekend.

isn't she darling?

also brookie remember the time we were playing truth or dare and we dared you to pee your pants (like any good cousin would) and you said you would, but that you needed to do it in private? and then you DID?

so glad you grew out of that phase.

Jake and Brooke got married in the Los Angeles temple last Saturday, and then had their reception in Thousand Oaks. I loved the whole thing.

My parents flew into town Friday night, and my older sister Jaclyn drove down from Utah via a mini trip to Las Vegas.

It was so fun to have them here visiting for the weekend--plus hotels are fun. They just are.

Brooke and Michele are almost the only cousins we have our age--and are both such amazing girls! Brookie just got home off of her mission last year (maybe the year before) after serving in Chile. She's also been living up in Logan, UT for the past few years, so not too close.

Her and Michele have always been such amazing examples to me though, and it was fun to be able to spend that day with them!

The reception was in this especially magical restored barn--somewhere in Simi Valley.

here is where they held the reception--everyone just take a very good look at my sweet madre. I would just like to tell you I have asked her many a questions on life, said some promiscuous things at the dinner table (I even got excused last year at the tender age of 22)
--and some of those questions/statements may or may not have embarrassed her to the point of being speechless.

Well this weekend was her turn. (She is not going to be thrilled about this post.)

After leaving the continental breakfast with an apple in my hand and a banana in my skirt pocket, she turns to me and says,

"is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

and then started laughing. hysterically. probably more at the face I made.

Jaclyn and my jaws dropped open, and she just lost it. She was laughing so hard she had to cover her mouth, and then tried damage control. "I'm sorry! I heard that in a movie once!"
Oh geez mother. I love her to pieces. But we can't take her anywhere.

a very fantastic wedding.

my dad is definitely wearing a neck cord for his sunglasses. no need to squint.
he is also sporting the matrix sunglasses.
Dad, why couldn't you wear your aviators NOW instead of 15 years ago when they were so not cool? Ever since they came back into style he gets to tell us he's a trendsetter.
Thanks for nothing Ray Ban.

side note: my Dad has to google everything on his phone now.
I tried recommending a few places to eat after they flew into LAX, and he just said he wanted to google it, and then put it into the GPS. He's also a huge fan of the texting these days, although he doesn't get my text humor. They grow up so fast.

Aidan and Treyton made friends. Even though Trey kept calling him "Adam" all weekend.
He's a boy, you're a boy-- he likes dirt, you like dirt. You make barfing noises, he makes barfing noises. Life was so much simpler back then.

these are not the best pictures. I know we can't all be Mike Cunninghams, but I wasn't exactly working with geniuses either. 4/5 pictures taken when handing my camera to someone else turned out like these:

Awesome. What the freak is happening here people? My mom loves the zoom feature by the way. We erased those.

I love this little boy.
Except he has been holding a double standard. Every time we got into the elevator, he would grab onto the steel railing and tell us "hold to the iron rod!"
and then I caught him drinking. Twice.

You can't tell, but she's got a baby bump. You also might not be able to tell, but we are related.

I miss all of them already. They're crazy.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

ever since I moved to San Diego

last week, I have changed.

I think it's the humidity. I try to flat iron my hair, and by 2pm I look like Hermione Granger in the first Harry Potters.

100% natural frizz. I really am trying people. It's not that I don't care. I just don't know what else to do for myself.

Also, I woke up and it's like I'm in Benjamin Button. My face is breaking out in baby acne. It's awesome.

I would post pictures, but I'm too embarrassed. Obviously.

I also can't stop eating burritos. These Mexican stands are everywhere. So good.

we are FUNNY

I stole this post from Megan's blog.
Which she stole from my email, which she had originally forwarded to me from Facebook.
Who deleted it, probably because it was too funny.

It all started one day in summer school...and ended about eight hours later...following a night where we decided to play games in the park--we both had a lapse in judgment and wore sandals to a park with no sand. Just bark.

Not that that has anything to do with anything. But neither does anything else.

The great thing is, is that this is ordinary conversation between two very ordinary friends on everyday life. This time, it was recorded.

Reason #4,764 why I love Megan no middle name Smith.

Megan Smith:

night games

Roxanne Hutchens:

I love night games. We should wear smarter shoes next time and maybe the bark won't get the best of us. Marco?

Megan Smith:

POLO! not to be confused with Pollo...spanish for chicken. Let's be clear I'm NOT calling you a chicken. Although I feel like chicken is all i hear about these days with Oprah basically throwing KFC in everyone's faces. I don't even like KFC. I think the fact that an old man named the colonel is frying lots of chicken is a little sad. Maybe there are labor laws against things such as this. But him teaming up with A& that was a good idea. Rootbeer float ice
cream cones, to die for. Not as good as our frozen yogurt though...yummm...frozen yogurt. And this is proof that I can tie anything back to frozen yogurt. ANYTHING. Marco?

Roxanne Hutchens:

Hmmmm. Impressive. Very impressive. Not as impressive as the time that Benita and I decided to create the greatest fast food meal ever. True or False: we called in pizza to Papa John's. Better Ingredients, Better Pizza. As we were picking up the pizza, we cruised right on over to Little Caesar's. For the crazy bread, obviously. Pizza! Pizza! By then we assumed our cinnamon sticks were probably ready at 5 Buck Pizza. How can you beat great pizza? Great price? Now if someone other than Ben and I would realize the potential available here, we would really be on to something.

Megan Smith:

I do recall this evening. I came home to find garbage from not one, not two, but three different pizza establishments. I don't know if you call this impressive or indecisive. Still up for debate. HOWEVER. I completely commend your diligence and drive. If it's worth doing, it's
worth doing right and that was clearly your motto as you accomplished this feat of the tri-pizza meal. I feel like your game might have been stepped up a little had you ordered from a 4th
establishment and had it timed to arrive right as you pulled in from your pickups. At this point I'd feel like you were really pulling from all of the pizza fronts. All this pizza talk is making me wish i had a frozen totino's to throw in the oven. That is good pizza.

Roxanne Hutchens:

Instead I will settle, only once, for pizza flavored wheat thins. Now for sale at an on campus vending machine near you. Also, Diet Cokes and peanut M&M's will probably be the main food group for me for the next 7 weeks. Since this is my 5th hour of class so far today, I have eaten/drank everything in my suitcase purse. Gatorade. Water bottle. Peanut M&M's. Wheat Thins. Fiber One Bar. and Two pieces of Sugar Free Gum (Thanks Jillian and Bob).

Megan Smith: coke and peanut M&M's. That sounds like a meal fit for a king. I'm going with DDP and carrots dipped in ranch as we speak. The carrots don't quite hit the spot the way those peanut M&M's do. There is such a thing as pizza flavored wheat thins? what will they come up
with next? Are crackers supposed to taste like a full fledged meal? That is a trick. It reminds me of the gum violet chews in willy wonka and the chocolate factory...."By gum it's gum...Wrong. It's
the most amazing, fabulous, sensational gum in the whole world....What's so fab about it?...This little piece of gum is a three-course dinner. Tomato soup. I can actually feel it running down my throat..." True or False: I have seen that movie way too many times for my own good.

Roxanne Hutchens:

True. But to counter your over-viewing I have never actually seen that movie in its entirety. Something strange about a man in a purple velvet suit that takes children into his alternate world. Not to mention some don't even make it back out and no one even really seems that concerned. This to me is far more perplexing than a wooden puppet just trying to make friends.

Megan Smith:

I think the whole Idea for the movie was a government funded scare tactic for children. Good little children get entire chocolate factories for themselves with little people who do all their work for them, all the candy they want, and they actually speak to each other in song. Bad little children disappear...where they go, nobody knows. A wooden puppet trying to make friends scares me. Puppets shouldn't be venturing into the social world if you ask me. It's like animals know how i feel about that.

Roxanne Hutchens:

these government funded movies have really got me confused. Like Wall-E. Opened up a whole new world for me. At first I just watched the movie like a four year old. Completely entertained, and no idea what's going on. Like Benita. Talking animals, puppets wanting to be real boys, extremely good looking men who age backwards, or spiders instilling values into little pigs. Just to name a few. These things are purely fictional, no politicking, and a few good morals. which is more than I can say for Gene Wilder. Who is just scary. You just have to question the intentions and integrity of people like him and Johnny Depp. Dr. Frankenstein? Pirates? Willy Wonka?

Megan Smith:

oooh the backwards aging man. I had that happen to me one time. I woke
up in the morning and ran a marathon and then by the end of the night
i couldn't walk, resorted to crawling, needed assistance being fed,
and only wanted to curl up in my jammies and watch disney films. If
only brad pitt had been there to experience it with me...

Roxanne Hutchens: Benjamin Button. But in reverse.

Monday, May 17, 2010

magical L.A. weekend

this weekend was FANTASTIC.
I was making fun of Shauna for her verbage this weekend--but it really was nothing short of magical.
I loved the whole thing. Hard to do when I'm missing my besties this much.

Friday, I went to the Padres game at Petco Park with my friend Nick. For those of you who don't know me that well,

(A. I'm not sure why you're reading this, but glad to have you 2. I just want to get to D, and D. please tell me who you are, I don't hate comments.)


something verrrrrry all-American about this sport. I may be a jersey chaser. But maybe I'm a jersey chaser because that's how much I love the sport. We will never ever know. I am very supportive. Somebody can be very attractive, but put them in a uniform and it's really quite pathetic. My heart melts.


Chase happens to be a very attractive 2nd baseman for the Philadelphia Phillies.
Here he is in his uniform.

Here he is without it.
(still attractive, but not nearly as appealing. no offense Chase. I would still take you.)

It's not science people.

So Nick and I went to the game, and it was amazing. I loved it. We did everything you're supposed to do at a baseball game.

We ate peanuts. We drank cokes. We ordered hot dogs. We yelled "BEAT LA" to all of the drunks sitting around us. We provoked Dodger fans. We stood up and sang in the seventh inning stretch. So so fun. And in case you didn't realize from my last post how close I work, I will show you again.

this will not be my last baseball game.

Saturday I was a little unsure about how my weekend would unfold, so I talked to my very good friend Shauna, who is hilarious, living in L.A., and who you should be friends with here.

She convinced me the 122 mile trek was not too far to see her
(even after driving 600 miles LAST Sunday, and commuting everyday to work), and that I would not be sorry. I must really love this kitty.

So I drove to L.A. Saturday afternoon to find kitty in her sweatpants moving all of her stuff from her apartment. She failed to tell me she was using me for my car and my Mexican arms that have been lifting 20 lb weights with my very own personal trainer.
(read her good stuff here)

I wasn't even mad though. I love this little lady dearly and would do it again in a heartbeat.
Plus she called me a tender mercy.

We moved all of her stuff into a very difficult to reach storage unit (it really was like PacMan), only to find that we had to Tetris-ize her stuff to make it fit in the 4 x nothing unit that costs more than some Provo rent.
It's Los Angeles.

Ate some Chipotle, as every hard-working Mexican should, and then went and met up with Shauna's and my now friend (I Facebook confirmed) Peter.

We had the most amazing dinner at this place called "Gjelina"--a Mediterranean style restaurant on Abbott Kinney Blvd., a super trendy area of Venice Beach. We ordered some kind of pasta (mini), a margherita pizza, and fries.

Thank goodness our very odd waiter who refused to speak reminded us that they're called "Frites".
Peter: And an order of french fries.
Waiter: oh you mean frites.

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart even ate here together in December. Tender.

We put our names in around 9 p.m., and didn't even get seated until around 10:30 p.m, which was okay because we got to see the BEST PART OF LA. The Venice Beach canals. It was so cute all lit up at night, which made it difficult to take good pictures. And it made it into the movie Valentines Day, and Because I Said So (according to Shauna, I've never seen either.)

We went back to Peter's house, watched SNL, and laughed really REALLY hard at this SNL short--

REALLY late Saturday night I was able to visit with my friend Justin Morgan from high school. He's living down in L.A., and just finished up his second year of law school at USC. Love him. He is darling.

Sunday, Shauna and I went to church, and then sipped Diet Cokes while driving around the bendy roads of Beverly Hills and sang to old country songs. Like "I Want A Man That Stands Beside Me" by Jo Dee Messina, and "That Summer" by Garth Brooks. Man, those are good.

Favorite part:

Shauna: Kitty, I am so so glad you are here.
Me: I was part of your past life, but now I am here!
Shauna: I know! Now you're in my present life too! That makes you relevant.

Finally, we went to get dinner at the Coral Tree Cafe, where it just so happens The Hills cast thought would be the perfect place to eat in the premiere. NBD.

And then I drove home.


Thursday, May 13, 2010

just a little kitty in the big city

last Sunday, I moved to San Diego. all by myself.
I drove 11 hours, by myself, which was okay, because my Dad said he would pray for me.
Thanks Dad.

and just like he said I would be, I was fine. I detached myself from my mother's apron strings, got myself some 32oz Diet Cokes along the way, some peanut m&m's, Megan's mixed CD she made just for me, and I was on my way.

I'm living in San Diego with my darling friend Brittany Pierce's family until she gets here in June, and then we will be roomies.

I'm interning at a public relations/advertising agency called j. simms agency in downtown--about a 25 minute commute.

This is my view. I LOVE it.I will only be working part-time, so I also have applied at my favorites.

J. Crizzle, Anthropologie, and Pottery Barn. I will let you know how it goes, mainly for the discount I'll be helping you out with.

just since being here, I've already settled into a little bebis routine.
I love routines.

I located the closest 7-11's to work and to home-- check.
mapped out 4 and 5 mile run routes from the house -- check.
grocery shopped for my favorite things
  • diet cokes
  • kashi cereal
  • lean wraps
  • bananas
  • and peanut butter)
and settled into bed by 10:30 watching all good things on hulu.

parenthood, modern family, friday night lights, the marriage ref, LOST--
it's going to be a very busy summer.

so who is going to come visit?

(Mike- I don't care what you say I am a sophisticated kitty who happens to like bunny food. but I will try a fish burrito if it makes you happy. only because kitties are supposed to like fish.)

miss leslie ann

A little bit late of a post.

I love Mama Hutch. She is seriously amazing. Who else could raise 8 kids, who haven't killed each other, made it to college (Manta and Marmet don't screw up!), and all have strong testimonies of the church?

She has been through so much, in her own life, and in supporting her kids through their difficult trials. I have never met anyone as tender-hearted, caring, patient, and loving as her. All of my friends remind me how lucky I am to have her.
I sometimes hate that she has such a deep and caring heart, for she truly feels more than others feel sometimes, but I also know that her joy is also greater.
Happy is the heart that still feels pain Mama!

Our home has always been a place of refuge and comfort, for myself and for others--in no small part because of her. She always has a hug when I need it, she says the right things, and is a true testament of what it is to unconditionally love, and to have faith in all things.

This past week I had the opportunity to be home with family before moving to San Diego--and even though I haven't kept in great contact with high school friends, I couldn't think of anyone I'd rather hang out with than her.

Every time I go home I revert back to being 5 years old.

"Mom, what are you doing? Can I do that?"
"Mom, where are you going? Can I come?"
"Mom, what are you eating? Can I have some?"
"Mom, what are you watching? Can I watch that?"

Thanks for letting me help you, spending time talking on our lunch dates, shopping dates, sharing your food, getting me hooked on ridiculous television shows,
(If you haven't watched Ghost Whisperer yet, it's the only thing I've ever liked Jennifer Love Hewitt in. Watch it. It's ridiculous.)

and for letting me cuddle in your bed with you until it's way past any normal parent's bedtime.

Coming home to spend time with you is my favorite part about coming home. I miss you already.


Happy Mother's Day.

NOTE: also I realized after this post where I get my no-picture-taking-rule from.
Sibs: We need pictures of us, with mom, minus matching outfits ASAP. okay?