the brad bachelor. week 5.

- Brad, you're wearing a vest.

- glad Shawntel is still holding onto that running/jumping into his arms thing. don't hurt him.

-all of a sudden I want to go shopping in Vegas.


-I can't stop thinking about how she sees dead people.

-how is she all of a sudden someone he can see himself spending the rest of his life with? isn't this their first one on one date? where did she even come from?

-I hate that purse. but I wish I had it anyway.

-brit- what are you wearing? the cap? a white fuzzy robe?

-was it necessary for shawntel to have to get ready in the hotel with everyone else looking on and hating her even more?

-"I really want to take this time to tell him that I stuff dead people."

-I would probably recommend never using the words "orifices" or "vein drain" on a first date. or any date. or at dinner.

-brad: way too many hand gestures. say what you mean. use your words.

-flip-flops and a fendi dress. that's cool I guess.

-what is Brit doing here? how does she keep getting invited to these dates?

-the Ashleys are friends?

-Las Vegas is NOT looking good on Michelle. zits...fuzzy hair.

-Ashley H., please let me fix your eyebrows. I have a license.

-Brit, loving the neon outfits and white KEDS.

-Michelle is crazy.

-not sure if I could love Emily any more at this point.


-"I swear, I'm usually fun!" emily you are darling. I pick you.

-can she even see over the steering wheel? is this safe?

-Alli has the worst attitude. gross.

-"we all have problems, we all have issues" oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you lost a spouse.

-bad body language Brad. so glad Emily put him in his place. you are old.
Emily manned up, you need to.

-lots of drinking...a lot of emotional highs...and lows...

-whoa. the L-bomb. gross.

-too bad Brad and Michelle can't have a normal conversation...oh, good makeout instead.

-Ashley H. big forehead. bad hair. bad eyebrows.

-Ashley S. baby voice. really annoying baby voice.

-"I'm always trying to convince someone to be with me." I get that. I do. hits home a little bit.

-the extraordinary wife comment for somebody else hurts a little bit. be sensitive brad.

-Ashley H. did not seem half as sad as Ashley S. said she would..wait. punched. in the face. and in the heart.

-Brit only wears neon. never not wearing neon.

-what intense connection? I don't see it.

-the Elvis "Lonely Tonight" montage is almost as painful as Taylor Swift Pandora radio after a breakup. almost.

-your first instinct may be to close yourself off Brad, but straight to the therapist isn't much better. enough with the life coach.

-I feel bad for giving her this much attention, but Michelle is straight crazy. the lap dance was cool though, and not even trashy.

-dang. cute notes don't work, and get you sent home. note to self.

-team Emily.