Friday, June 25, 2010

I'm an outlaw

anyone who knows me, knows that I am NOT a troublemaker.
I don't like to be in trouble, I don't like to be around trouble, and I especially make a particular effort never to be causing trouble.

at least that's what I thought.

since moving to San Diego, I have had three encounters with the law.
that is approximately three more than I have EVER had before, minus the ONE speeding ticket I received in Reno the week BEFORE moving to California.

It was probably an omen of things to come. I should have listened.

incident #1. jack in the box.

three weeks ago yesterday, Tawni and I were in Huntington Beach for a birthday party. following the party, everyone decided to go out dancing, except for us, and Richard Miller and Jeff K Brown. We decided to get something to eat, and it just so happens that nothing is open at 11:00pm, and JIB has made a recent comeback in my life.
(High school was also a huge hit. #5 Sourdough Jack with a Dr. Pepper please.)
They've got these amazing grilled cheese sandwiches, and fresh non-fat smoothies. I just wanted to treat myself to something nice.
This particular drive-thru has no place to sit down and eat inside. It is a drive-thru only, with ONE handicap parking spot.

photo credit: jeffrey keith brown

Jeff and Richard meet Tawn and I at JIB on their motorcycles, and get into my car so that we can all order together. After driving through and placing our order, I drive back around to drop the boys off. In an effort to NOT block the drive-thru, I pull foward into the handicapped spot, the only place to park in the lot. I never left my car. I never turned off the car. I never turned off my lights. We were there a few minutes when an officer dillweed knocks on my window.

DW: can I see your handicap pass?
me: I don't have one?
DW: driver's license and registration please.

I was thoroughly confused at this point, and pretty certain that I'd be able to leave in a few minutes as I wasn't doing anything "wrong".

DW: whose car is this?
me: mine. well, my parents.
DW: why does it have Nevada plates?
me: because I'm from Nevada.
DW: why is your driver's license from Utah?
me: I go to school there.
DW: why are you here?
me: I'm here doing an internship for the summer.
DW: where.
me: in San Diego.
DW: then why are you in Huntington Beach?

Really? REALLY?

me: I'm visiting friends.
DW: here's your ticket. it's a pretty big fine, I recommend you get out of here before you get towed.

you can't be towed if you're sitting in your car buddy. even the biggest puka shell wearing, overall sporting towing toolbag in Provo knows that.

me: Sir, really? I'm leaving right now. I was only here dropping my friends off.

who were parked underneath a "no pa
rking zone" sign. Good one guys.

DW: sorry, sorry! there's nothing I can do. I've already issued the citation.

[all while putting his hands up in the air like a middle easterner getting robbed at a convenient store.]

upon receiving my citation and officer dillweed leaving, I looked at my ticket, and realized I had given him the wrong registration. I handed him my expired registration, which he failed to point out to me while he was dealing with such rowdy troublemakers.


Parking in a Handicapped Stall Fine: $374.00
Expired Registration: $79.00
Total: $453.00

I wish this post was over.

incident #2.

my car got sideswiped last week. the paint is missing down to the frame, and apparently, also knocked my brake light loose. or something? not really sure what happened here.

I got pulled over for a non-working break light, and then since we were there, he also mentioned the Nevada plates. AGAIN. Apparently, you only have 30 days in the state of California to have them switched. I DO NOT LIVE HERE.

he gave me a warning. I really hope I don't see him again before I leave in August.

warning: $0.00
subtotal: $453.00

incident #3. driving while on speakerphone.

I have been meaning for some time now to get a car GPS system. I have no idea where I'm going. I know how to get to work, and I know how to get home. Anytime I want to get something to eat, or gas up, or get a Diet Coke, I have no idea where I am. Unless I can see it from the freeway.

I KNOW I'm not allowed to talk while driving, and I make a very conscious effort not to do it. and then I got pulled over for talking on my phone.
The unfortunate part about all of this is that I was literally ON MY WAY to Costco to pick up a car GPS system. I GOT LOST. I could not find Costco. I did not know where I was, so heaven forbid I call someone to tell me how to find it.

driver's license and registration please? sure. they're sitting right here on top.

driving while on the phone: $175.00
subtotal: $628.00


  1. Shut up! Rox! Agh! What is the deal?! I had to laugh at the picture though. Glad you had one taken for evidence.

  2. That's what happens when you break the "law" in a state that is totally bankrupt. They LOVE pulling people over from out of state because they make "outside" money as opposed to getting paid by money in their own system. Sorry Roxy! That blows.

  3. Seriously though! That is horrible luck with a BUNCH of officer Dillweeds! Sorry Xan!

  4. Did I or did I not tell you when you called me in tears that you would eventually laugh about this and put in on your blog... well, okay... but you did put it on your blog! The laughter will come later... :) Mom

  5. Did I mention that I don't want to be Anonymous? Help me... you know how ill-literate I am when it comes to computers!! (Smile)

  6. I LOVE your blog, but it makes me remember how terribly I miss you. You are a talented writer! Did I mention I'm your mom, and you're related to me? No? ;)

  7. oh dear, mother. anyway.. ha! roxanne, this is pretty darn funny, you gotta admit. on the other hand... that sucks. i wonder if we're allowed to get Mentally Handicapped park-allowing signs.......